Definition of teenage
Source: Merriam-Websters Learner’s Dictionary
As this definition is true, it says nothing of the teenager themselves. It certainly does not prepare you for the teenager or explain their actions, their moods, their texting codes; m@*$, translation …meet me at Starbucks. Who knew? Certainly not me.
Teenagers are a whole different type of human, they are almost alien in some ways. That child you raised from birth now becomes someone different. An adolescent in the process of developing from child to adult. It can be a difficult time for teens and parents alike. It takes patience and love and a little humor to bring us through the teenage years. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way. 🙂
1. No Public Nonsense – It is NOT acceptable to wave and call your teenager’s name in a public place, such as WalMart, drawing attention to them. This causes a reaction of embarrassment and shock, a look of pure disbelief and horror on their part and don’t be surprised if you are ignored. This, in turn, defeating the purpose of why you waved and called out to them in the first place.
2. Their Knowledge Exceeds Yours – Toast without butter or jelly or any delicious spread is simply plain toast, not dry toast. This from my son who seems to have become an expert in culinary arts. Hmm …dry toast, plain toast, naked toast, still the same piece of toast. I am the one eating it, and I shall call it what I want.
3. The No Hug Zone – You have now entered what I sometimes refer to as “The No Hug Zone” There will officially be no more hugs outside of the house, what so ever! Hugs are only permitted, on occasion, inside the household, as teen sees fit. I knew the day was coming, but are we ever ready?
4. Beware Of The iCloud! – In case you didn’t know, the iCloud stores photos, videos, music, apps, etc. – for all your devices. This can also mean your families devices as well. This is NOT always a good thing. So just be sure you have your settings adjusted or you just might end up sending and saving something you didn’t intend, to other family member’s phone or Apple device. Oops!
5. The No Adult Zone – Teenagers do not want to talk to adults and will avoid this at all cost! I once saw my son walk all the way around the other side of the food court, at the mall, to avoid running the risk of talking to one of his teachers. This also applies to a friend’s parents, the pastor, neighbors or any person who is old, which is basically anyone over 35.
6. Healthy Is Not Good. It doesn’t matter if Michelle Obama says so or not, healthy is not good. My son will skip lunch rather than eat healthy. Heaven forbid anything healthy would actually taste good! They may eat healthy food, at your request, but if you are not around than back to junk food. His diet would consist of pizza, candy bars and packages of peanut butter crackers.
7. Not Wearing Clothes Is A Thing – Okay, only around the house …but still! Getting dressed on the weekend consists of a pair of boxer shorts. He walks by me to get a drink out of the fridge and I feel like I’m in an episode of “The Middle”. I tell him to put on some clothes and he says his friends do it too. Teenagers!
8. It Is Not Cool To High Five Anymore – This one I have no problem with, as I was never a big fan, but still I know adults who use the high-five at any given moment for various accomplishments, celebrations or other at-a-boy occasions that come around. Mom alert! Your teen will let you know that this is no longer cool.
9. Life Will End If They Have To Do Chores – When my children were younger they loved to help me around the house. They wanted to sweep, or mow or water the plants for me. Now, when I ask my teenager to do any of these things, I am confronted with a groan or moan and a million reasons why this is not a good idea for him. Gone are those days of Mother’s little helper!
10. If You Want To Get Their Attention…Bring Up Christmas – Nothing gets the attention of my teenager quicker than to talk about Christmas gifts. Of course, I may have no intention of Christmas shopping at that time, they don’t have to know this now. I know, It’s bad…but clever. Just roll into what would you want for Christmas, followed by well that may not happen if you don’t mow the lawn. Next thing you know your lawn mower is purring away guided by a reluctant teen who really wants an iPhone. 😉
With a recipe of patience, love, laughter and wine …we will get though these years just fine.
My son (in the middle) and his friends being silly, being teenagers.
Thanks for reading!