On Line Dating, Is It For You?

I have asked myself this question a thousand times.  I have heard my friend’s opinion on this subject a thousand times.  So what is the answer?  Will online dating work for you, is it something you should try?  What are the pros and cons of online dating? 

First, before you make the decision to put yourself out there …Here are some things you should consider.  Look at the pros and cons and ask yourself this:

1. Do you have the opportunity to go out and meet people the old fashion way?   Maybe you live in a rural area or just don’t have many single friends.  Actually both apply to me.  I am a 50 something single Mom who lives in a small city and does not do the bar scene anymore.  Most of my friends are married, and events and invitations consist of mostly gatherings at another married friend’s house.  Uh …not much opportunity to meet someone here.  So, if like me, you are limited in places to go and people to go with …then, online dating might be for you. You can meet people outside your social circle and even your geographical area.  By meeting different people you can get a better idea of what you are truly looking for.  Beware though, some of the people you meet out of your area may just be looking for a pen pal and never really end up wanting to meet. As where in the old fashion way, you already have that advantage.
2. Does your career leave you time for a social life?  This one, I think, is the reason a lot of people decide to use online dating.  People work long hours, odd shift times and it leaves little room to go out and meet other people.  If this is you, then you might want to try  online dating.  Just keep in mind, as I have run into this with dates …If you have little time for a social life, due to your career …you still will have to find time to meet and date once you find this online dreamboat. Also, it takes work and time to date online.  You will need to set up a profile, including pictures and monitor it; and be organized enough to weed through and answer all the emails in a timely manner.
3. Are you an extrovert or introvert?  If you lean towards being an introvert, then you might  be thinking about online dating.  It is much easier to begin a conversation through a dating web site than it would be to walk up to someone at a party.  You are already online for so many other things …Facebook, LinkedIn etc.  So ask yourself, is this really much different from looking for a job online?  Now, if you are the life of the party and go out often …then the online thing could be a waste of your time, as in the end, you will still need to meet to find out if there is going to be chemistry.
4. Are you adventurous enough to try something new?  I read that over 40 million singles have tried online dating, and that 1 out of 5 relationships started online.   So with that said, it sounds like a sure thing! Right??  However, it isn’t as easy as all that.  Be prepared!  If you do venture out, expect to get burned a few times.  People will lie about their age, income, career, height, weight, relationship status …you will get frustrated, sometimes after only a couple of dates.  Be patient and have fun with it …if you start feeling that this may not be for you, take a break.  It’s the internet, it is available 24 hours a day and will be there when you are ready again.
5. Can you afford the price of online dating?  People have mixed opinions on this one.  Some people would never dream of paying a dating site, and others may think it is a small price to pay to find the right person.  You should know that not all dating sites require you to pay.  Most sites are set up where you can search and flirt for free, but do hope that you will want to upgrade in order to actually exchange emails.  These types of sites, like maybe eHarmony, are probably better in the long run if you are serious and can afford it.  These sites, sometimes, will attract the more serious daters.  The daters who don’t mind paying and taking the time to fill out and answer all the questions, because  just like you, they want to find a relationship, something more long-term.  There are dating sites that are totally free, such as POF (Pond of Fish) this dating site does not require you to pay in order to search, flirt or exchange email. However …as nice as this is …you will run into a lot more people who are just on there for fun, who want nothing serious; one night stands, pen pals, scammers, etc.  Do your research and choose wisely as to what might be better suited to your needs and what you are looking for.

At the end of the day, in this digital day and age, it actually makes perfect sense to have an online and an offline routine of dating to find the right person for you.  As someone once said to me, “Remember, the goal is to take your online dating, offline.”  So, whether you actually meet offline or online you still have to be able to grow and maintain your relationship.  It’s up to you whether you actually build that profile online or find the right lines to say and time to say them offline.  The important thing is to get out there and date,  find your happily ever after.  I know I will!  😉

 

Thanks for reading!

XO Arlene