Dating And The Single Mom

For those of you who don’t know, I am a single mother, working full-time and living in Texas.  That is the short of it, actually I am so much more than the title would say.  I am CEO of the household; a mother, a personal chef, a mediator, an administrative assistant, a housekeeper, a banker and finance manager, a taxi driver, a judge, a teacher and a friend.

The list could go on and on …my point being that it is a busy, not always easy and sometimes thankless job. The rewards however really are many.  If you are a parent you know what I am talking about.  I love my busy, crazy life and feel blessed to have it.

Now, the down side to this wonderful life I lead is that it leaves little time for me.  Hey, the CEO needs a break sometimes.  Occasionally, I do get together with the girls.  We laugh, we cry, we have some wine …and maybe some more wine.  Meeting up with the girls is a great stress release and so much fun!

Now, let’s throw dating into the mix …and all of a sudden the problem, finding the time to date.  As my son gets older, I find that the possibility of dating does become somewhat easier …but still not as much as I would have thought.  I still have a school age son at home, a teenager no less!  I still have to be there at night for him.  I am still CEO of the household.  I am still personal chef.  So now, add a creative writer (my profile on dating sites), a designer (a girl has to have the right outfit!) a judge (of good character), a decision maker (should I or should I not go out with this guy?  Is he right for me?) …well you get the idea.  So how is a single mom suppose to find the time to date?  And if you do find the time, is your busy schedule going to coincide with your dates?

I recently had a brief dating relationship with a guy who politely told me that it wasn’t going to work out for us (after only 4 dates, mind you) because he didn’t like that I couldn’t talk on the phone more often with him.  Apparently, this is a deal breaker for him.  The longer version being that he thought we got along great and he really liked me, but …I didn’t have more time for him and less time with my family.  We went out for about 2 weeks, during this time we talked on the phone at least twice during the week, texted every day and went out on the weekend, plus lunch during the week.  I felt like I was rearranging my schedule and compromising for him …But where was his compromise??  So when he called me to tell me it wasn’t going to work, I didn’t try to change his mind.  I did all I was willing to do at this point, already.   So in the end, it was …Bye, bye needy engineer guy, weird kisser …it wasn’t going to work.

But I think the point I am trying to make here is this:  You have to take into consideration that we all have schedules and different lives, whether we are single with kids, single and retired, single and working etc.  If you are single for any length of time, at all, you should know that everyone needs time to adjust to a new person in their lives.  You get used to your schedule and when someone new comes along it takes a bit of time and finesse to fit them in.  It takes compromise on both parties, and a willingness to want to do so.  It takes understanding, understanding that this can’t always happen at first, nor may you want it to.

I think the “not wanting it to happen to quickly” part was true with the engineer guy.  I wasn’t opposed to changing my schedule a little, to let him in, hell I thought I had!  I mean I just met the guy, I didn’t even know his last name!!  I wasn’t even sure if I had any feelings for him, other than being his friend.  I did enjoy his company …but was this enough, at this point, to rearrange my life for?  I didn’t think so and wanted more time to decide whether it was going to work out.  I think if you are going to be “out there” dating, you have to be patient and not rush things.  You have to be understanding to a certain degree, understanding of what the other person has going on, and if you like them work through this with them.  I don’t know …maybe it just depends on the guy or the girl and how much you like them to how much time you are going to invest now or down the road.  Food for thought.

“No need to rush. If it is worth having, it is worth waiting for …and what is meant for you always arrives on time.”

So, for this Lady, right here, right now, I will continue to be a dating mom, a CEO of my household, of my life.  Forever strong, independent and confident, moving forward with my life, in progress.

“She is single because she refuses to settle for someone who falls short of what she deserves.

Knowing her self worth, she has chosen to preserve a spot in her heart for a real man.

Someone mature enough to understand that loyalty, commitment, and honestly are a priority and not an option.”

 

Thanks for reading!